May: Joy

Over the course of the last 9 months, a number of comments have been made about how much “lighter” I seem lately. 

My 30s didn’t necessarily feel hard like my 20s (hello finding your place in the world post-college!) but they were formative in a way that made me tougher, more resilient. 

Bryan and I bought and remodeled a house, I learned what and incredible amount of physical pain I could endure, I lived through a world-shuttering pandemic while pregnant and with a newborn, I fed two children with my body, I’ve learned more patience in physically and emotionally carrying children than I ever thought possible, I made a career change. And with all that, I guess my light was a little, well, tired. 

These 40 challenges have brought me back to life. They’ve reconnected me with my closest friends and family, they’ve forced me to find time for myself, they’ve all given me something to look forward to. 

May was the most joyous month of them all (so far!). It was the month I really sunk into the fun, even in the tougher moments. 

I kicked off May with a girls weekend to Salida. We spent a day lounging in the Mt. Princeton hot springs - nary a child’s whine to be heard! We were so relaxed, sunscreen became an afterthought (and later regret, but very worth it in the moment). In Salida, everything felt easy! We rode bikes, ate delicious food (mountain bike taco tour ✅), gabbed, cried, puzzled, tourist-ed. The weekend flowed in a way that we all described as almost too good to be true, with a consensus 10/10 perfect day - weather, company, food, pace, joy. 

The following weekend, three girlfriends and I (+ Piper) checked the Skyline Traverse off the list. This challenge felt like a big one - mentally and physically. Piper and I had trained for months, Bryan had given me strategies for getting through it. On the day itself, my alarm didn’t go off, so I was scrambling to get ready, not eating enough and ultimately having tummy and energy problems because of it. There was one moment when I genuinely thought about turning around and heading home. But, in classic type 2 fashion, our 9 hour and 55 minute hike was fun! We enjoyed the views, chatted, gritted our teeth, saw friends and families who stopped along the way to support us, and ate more Nerds gummies than one could imagine. We ended the day with our families at our favorite taco place here in Boulder. The final feeling of a huge accomplishment is soul-filling in a way that’s hard to describe. 

So what I take from May is this: it’s an important part of life to go through hard things and the light inside may dim a bit in the process. But finding it and making the time to bring it back to life, feeling the joy in the deepest part of your belly, is equally important. 

I love you all for giving me that gift of forcing me to make time for finding me again. Onward (we’re halfway through, but you know what I mean) to June!